Real Woman – Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and
drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?

Ladies – Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of
a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Woman – Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of
the cone, for Pete’s sake. You are probably lying on the
couch in your bathrobe, with your feet up, eating it anyway.

Ladies – To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in
the bag with the potatoes.

Real Woman – Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the
pantry for up to a year.

Ladies – When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking
pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t
be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Real Woman – Go to the bakery – they’ll even decorate it for
you.

Ladies – If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex
dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes
opening jars easy.

Real Woman – Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.

And finally the most important tip….

Ladies – Don’t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze
into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Woman – Leftover wine??

We got a letter from the condo management jerks about moving a piece of sheetrock that has been sitting in the exact same place since BEFORE we moved in almost 2 years ago. It was leaned up against the wall between the storage unit doors, ours and the guy next to us. We figured it was theirs, so we didn’t move it. The letter stated that if WE didn’t move it within 7 days that WE were going to be charged a $25 fine. I wonder if they sent him the same letter?

They’ll send us that letter, yet when we came home last night we could barely fit between the guy parked in the parallel spot and the one parked next to him in the fire lane. Last week I called 3 consecutive days about the exact same guy in his full-size long-bed truck parked in the compact car spot. (It’s hard for D to manuever his full size Tundra into the garage with anything except a compact car in that spot) I gave them the make/model/color/license plate number, which is what I was told to do, yet he still keeps parking there, along with his wife who drives a Ford Explorer. They have a 2 car garage yet park their 2 cars outside. They fined us because we sent in our form with the information on our vehicles TWO days late. What are they using those forms for, if not to identify people that are parked wrong? I called about how we have 9 guest spots, and on most days, every single spot is taken up by a resident. All they do is write a blurb at the end of the newsletters about parking in your garage. START FINING PEOPLE, LIKE YOU FINE US. It states in the rules that you can only park in guest parking for 72 hours, then you have to move to another spot. What? It’s guest parking. Not “lets-play-musical-parking-spaces”

I love the interior of my condo, we have spent a lot of time and money making it our home. It seems like it was all a waste.

But I lost the video I took at the zoo of the stingray eating lettuce. It was the coolest thing I have ever seen, and I’m kind of sad to know that it’s gone. I have pictures, but it’s not the same. I can take 700 more pictures, and I’ll use a bunch up tomorrow, since it’s my last full day here. I leave Thursday afternoon. We’re going to dinner at my aunt’s house tomorrow, so I’ll have to take lots of pics of the family.

For now, I have to keep my iPod charged, so I can use it for internet. And will have to save up for a new laptop. =(

My biggest fear in this trip, is that I have never flown alone before! Always with my parents, my Spanish class, or Derek. I know it will be ok, as I have about 2 hours between each flight, but I still worry. I leave at 1230am, and I figure if I get up at my regular weekday time on Thursday (I have the day off) that by 1230, I will be so tired I will sleep through the flights.

Derek bought me a camera, so I will make sure to take plenty of pictures! Especially if we go to the Zoo, since they have GIRAFFES there!!!!!!!!!!!!! I *heart* giraffes.

I have called a few times to get my phone number linked with my card, and have been told each time that it has been done. Today I didn’t have my card with me, so I used my phone number, but I didn’t get my PG eSaver coupons because my phone number is STILL not linked on my account. It is STILL showing Barbara S., even though I have been trying to get it switched to my name/card number for 2 years now. Is there ANY WAY I can get my phone number actually linked with my card???? What is the point of being able to enter in my phone number, if it doesn’t link with my club card? It’s a good idea to be able to load PG eSaver coupons directly onto the club card account, but it doesn’t work for me when you refuse to link the phone number on the account.

Thanks for the inconvienence.

1. Linita May 6th, 2008 at 11:13 pm

   So girls I need help. my natural color is light blonde and I was trying to go dark brown. So I thought I would try perfect 10 because i heard it works just dandy! now I know it says only leave on for 10 minutes, but since I was going from blonde to almost black I left it on all night to make sure the color would take. When I washed my hair the next day clumps of my hair were falling out and my hair turned a funky orange. my scalp is also permantly stained a brown color. im so pissed! everywhere I go people are giving me **** about my hair. this product sucks [censored]!!

    

2. Kimberly May 6th, 2008 at 11:17 pm

   Linita!! I had the same problemo. this is going to sound very very odd..but im also a light blonde but my husband thinks its sexy when my [bikini area hair is] dark brown. he just loves my [censored] and cant get enough of it!! but when its light blonde its apparetnly not a as sexy. anyways back to my point. so I died my [bikini] hair using the medim brown and it turned my pubs an orangish color and stained my [bikini area] brown. I just dont know what to do!! my husband wont have sex with me anymore!! plus my [censored] broke!!! HEEELP

Reasons To Like Beer by 7-Year-Olds

A handful of 7 year old children were asked, ‘what they
thought of beer.’ Some interesting responses, but the last
one is especially touching.

7-year-old Tim- ‘I think beer must be good. My dad says the
more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.’

7-year-old Melanie – ‘Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get
to watch what we want On television when he is asleep, so
beer is nice.

7-year-old Grady – ‘My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom
gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at
parties, but Dad doesn’t think this is very funny.’

7-year-old Toby – ‘My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink
beer and The more they drink the more they give kisses to
each other, which is a good thing.’

7-year-old Sarah – ‘My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny.
He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn’t have too
much.

7-year-old Lilly – ‘My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks,
the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.’

7-year-old Ethan – ‘I don’t like beer very much. Every time
Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they
taste disgusting.’

7-year-old Shirley – ‘I give Dad’s beer to the dog and he
goes to sleep.’

7-year-old Jack – ‘My Mom drinks beer and she says silly
things and picks on my father.  Whenever she drinks beer
she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the
street again, but that doesn’t make any sense.’

-Craig Ferguson

Derek picked it up by the handle on top, and carried it over to the center of the room. He takes the lid off, and I yell “OH NO!” once I realize little Kiley is in the litter box… utilizing it.

The look on her face was the same look of terror that Derek had on his face. I laughed so hard, for a good hour. How did he not notice there was a cat in there when he picked it up? What was going through her mind, when her “safe haven” box was lifted into the air?

Later on the night, laying in bed, she jumped up and scared me. I immediately thought of the events that took place earlier in the night and laughed again. For almost an hour.

Xylophone.